Meet Bob

Meet Bob*. This is a guy who has been my companion in various exploits from the time I was 15. The great thing about Bob is that he's always up for whatever comes along, as long as it isn't overly illegal and doesn't involve doing lines of blow or killing hookers. Other than that, he's a pretty down guy. The one thing you have to keep in mind about Bob though, is that, while he is not lacking in enthusiasm, he is definitely lacking in street experience. If I had been raised in the suburbs, I suppose I would call Bob a typical suburban white kid, I'm not sure what you call someone like that from a small town 50 miles or more from any medium sized towns. Well, we just call him Bob I guess.

The great thing about Bob (besides his enthusiasm) was that if he had any free time, it was pretty much yours for the taking. Since I had a lot of free time on my hands as a 15 year old, mostly due to a disdain for homework and lack of participation in anything related to school. Looking back, I think this is what led to Bob and I's initial friendship.

Bob was the kind of guy who didn't mind coming with me as I cruised a neighboring town for a guy to buy me beer (in a particularly memorable instance, a mexican man with 3 thumbs came to my aid) or a convenience store that wouldn't card me (plenty of these to be found). But regardless of all his accompaniment, he would never participate in the vice at hand (until he was of age), so we had to wait until he was 18 for his first cigar, but he got plenty of secondhand smoke in the intervening 3 years.

Hopefully this helps flesh out Bob, who might be a recurring character, depending on what stories I type up next. To finish out our intro, I'll share a story about Bob and his truck.

Bob had been given a truck, basically on loan from his parents when he turned 16. I think this was mostly so he could drive around his sister and pick up stuff from the store. Normally, in our town, driving a truck around was pretty normal, and kind of cool, being a farm town and all. Well, Bob had probably the dorkiest truck in the history of trucks. Imagine if you will, an '86 nissan hardbody, extended cab, with a bubble canopy (the kind that rise up in the back). With a "Life is Short, Pray Hard" sticker on the back. 2 wheel drive of course. This is the kind of truck you would expect your grandfather to have around for yardwork. This is what Bob drove to school everyday for 3 years. Let's just say that there was never any action going on in the back of this truck.

A friend of ours, Jeff*, worked at a car dealership and would get deals on stereos they pulled out of trade ins. One day he got a particularly crappy CD player for free, of course, the first thing that popped into our heads was that we HAD to put it into Bob's truck. This was a CD player from the first round of CD players that was available to purchase, probably circa 1991, it skipped over any speed bump, didn't show how much time was left on the CD, and could barely pick up radio stations. Pretty awesome stuff, and you wonder why it was free?  We ghetto-rigged that thing in there like any small town kids would, and of course, Bob has got to bump that shit all the way through his housing development. Bob, in all his geeky glory, cruising his old man truck, bumping (if you could call it that with two 4.5" speakers) Nelly's "Country Grammer" (hot song at the time). Then turning it down at certain houses so no neighbors called his dad. Yep, that's our Bob. We remain friends to this day.

*Bob is not really Bob's name

*Jeff is not really Jeff's name